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Thursday 14 June 2012

The Solstice Burning


Geoffrey and I have hit on a plan.  We're going to have a burning pyre to celebrate the solstice next week.
Usually we celebrate by sending people we don't like "Over the Top" (see e-books for examples of how this works).  But this year we want to do something different.
We're going to get a shot of Apsley and Cherry's "printer" (now powered by a massive fifty foot "windmill-style erection", rather than their former rat-powered cables - again, see e-books for how this works and how Geoffrey and I managed to rip the cable out of its socket and nearly electrocute everyone) and we're going to "print out" every horrible email or other upsetting "virtual message" that we've ever received, the rip them up and stamp on them in a bucket of watery glue-style stuff, and then fashion the resulting papier mache into a humanoid-style-man-type figger - let it dry out completely - then set the bastard alight!
As we haven't actually received that many really horrible communications, it will be a fairly small figger-style-humanoid-style-man-style thing.  But the proof will be in the burning, and the intensity thereof, as the T-G commented when we asked if we could use a barren patch of his land for the occasion (see photo).  He reckons it will blaze up like mad, and that the colours of the flames will correspond to the emotions in the emails.  Red for anger, green for envy, yellow for jealousy and spite, black for despair.  And so on and so forth.
We can't wait.
Meanwhile, we're going to get ourselves kitted out in some brand new gear so we look smart for the occasion, courtesy of the T-G's account at his favourite kitting out shop.  See photo.