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"A Scottish Wind in the Willows on high end skunk."

"I enjoy Kate's stories..."
"A fun and spooky read..."

"The characters are so involving and
loveable that you do want them to really exist. It does read like you've
stumbled across someone's long lost diary from and alternate timeline/universe.
I quickly got into the story and loved every second of reading it...
total gem of a read by an author who deserves a lot more recognition."


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Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Free Download Today - and an excerpt.

Sea Penguin Part Four - the Soul Extractor is available for free download today and for the next four after that.  It's the fourth book in my series of collected Tuppy and Geoffrey tales, originally written right here on the blog in about 2010 or 11 I think, and published on Kindle in 2012 - here's the link http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sea-Penguin-Extractor-Outcrop-Selections-ebook/dp/B007KUXBM2

Here's an excerpt from the book.

Well that's me safe and well back at the Outcrop. I'm sitting in my favourite chair by a roaring driftwood fire and I'm settling down with my fifth mug of Madeira and a multi pack of salty snax. Geoffrey's got sausage rolls in for our dinners so all's right with the world. How did I escape? Well - the smell of frying fruit pudding wafting under my nostrils made me desperate so I breathed in as hard as I could, expanding my chest and stretching the gaffer tape to snapping point - when suddenly - "What the heck's going on here then?" a familiar voice boomed. "I'll be having some of that. ALL of it actually. IF you don't mind." It was none other than Mr Spockfingers. He seized the frying pan from the Grim Reaper and wolfed the lot in a oner.
"Hey! what about me?" I cried. "I'm starving!"
"All in good time," said Spockfingers. "I'm just waiting for..."
"Never mind him. What about ME?" crooned the Reaper, brandishing his scythe.
"AND me!" whined Wilson in the nasty whingey voice he uses when he's not in full control.
"... nature to take its course," continued Spockfingers.
"Oh NO!" we all screamed, as Spockfingers let rip with one of his "specials". And if you want to know about the damage THAT can do - please have a search through previous posts. At any rate it's an ill wind as they say - the Reaper and the Ghastly Wilson fled for their lives, and I managed to place some Vick's under my nose and high-tail it back to the Outcrop.

Post Forty One

Last night we were awakened by a terrible din - a sort of clattering, rumbling noise. Apsley and Cherry heard nothing due to their octuple glazing, but pretty soon we heard the tippetty- tap of the Tupfinder General's cane as he hurried along the cliff -tops towards the source of the sound.
"It's Tuppence! He's up to his old tricks again!" he shouted. "I’ve been keeping watch as usual, and now I'm off to intervene!"
With difficulty we heaved ourselves off our sun loungers and headed after him. The clattering, rumbling, sucking noise grew louder and louder, as we neared the source.
"Be careful lads. Look!" said the T-G, beckoning with his pistol. We were at the mouth of a gigantic cave. Inside, illuminated by an arc light powered by rats on several bicycles, was a chair. Tied to the chair, was a terrified female sheep, with what looked like a metal colander on her head with some tubing coming out of it and going in to a bucket, which in turn set off the colander contraption, or, as the label on it stated, "Mind-muck Removal Device”.
"Oh, she's got a very clear conscience," said Tuppence. "How tiresome. No muck to remove, at all. We need to find another victim to experiment on. Aha! Visitors! Perfect!"
Oh no. He had spotted us... "We're armed," said the T-G.
"Yes, I can see that you've got a pistol AS USUAL," smirked Tuppence, "but AS USUAL it's half-cocked, just like you." And with an evil chuckle, he yanked a lever in the wall and a giant net dropped down on top of us. In a trice we were whizzing through the air, suspended above a bottomless pit of fire. Far below, we saw thousands of rats scurrying around with lengths of tubing, attaching them to bubbling, smoking test tubes. "What's going on?" we gasped in unison.
"Welcome to Muckfast Abbey," shrilled Tuppence, removing a pistol from his belt and twirling it in a devil-may-care fashion.


Smart, Kate (2012-03-15). Sea Penguin: Part Four - The Soul Extractor - Still More Tall Tales from the Rocky Outcrop (Sea Penguin Selections) (Kindle Locations 1733-1742).  . Kindle Edition. 

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