'But I sawed through my shackles Uncle Tuppy!' shrilled Tuppence. 'If I hadn't done that you'd have had to do it and you simply wouldn't have coped with the bending over! Not with your dicky back that you're always going on about.'
And with that he fell back on his pillows, exhausted.
We'll have to find some more Monster Munch (pickled onion flavour) and find them fast. But where? Over in her health shop yurt Val Nark sells an 'own-made' version, adapted from a Betty Crocker recipe, alongside her flapjacks and her sesame snaps, but that won't do, obviously. What we need is the 'real deal' - a Walkers multi-pack, crammed with salt, sugar and chemicals. Hopefully then my nephew will get the Roses back in his woolly little cheeks.
Yes - Roses chocolates. He's partial to them too. Only the soft centres though. He doesn't like caramels or anything with nuts.
More updates from the sick-bay later.
Find plenty more Tuppy and Tuppence tales here http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kate-Smart/e/B008MFK3NE/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1422011440&sr=8-1