Pre-stolen comestibles

I'm ashamed to say that for quite some time we continued to raid the foodbank supplies in the tunnels.  We were stealing food, basically, from the mouths of those who needed it most.  

Or were we?

Theft, of the lowest order.  

Or was it?

All was not quite as it might seem.    Partly,  obviously - but not quite.

For the supplies had already been stolen - they were, you could say, pre-stolen comestibles.  Tins of rice pudding, mandarin oranges, baked beans, cartons of UHT milk and boxes of cereal left in the tunnels by A.N. Other along with a miasma of 21st century misery.  Did that make what we were doing - pilfering - better?  Did it absolve us of responsibility?

After a brief, rather dull discussion around 'degrees of theft' (to be continued) and the current direction of travel of moral turpitude in general, we lugged our tins of custard and packets of cheesy pasta back to the Outcrop.

'Geoffrey, this isn't vittles, this is crap.    Where is the korn bif?  Where is the Madeira?  Where are the pouches of best baccy?  What possible use can we find for custard and cheesy pasta?  Perhaps - and at the risk, heaven forfend, of sounding sanctimonious - we should lug it back to the tunnels, for someone who actually, erm... needs it.'

'Well Tuppy, not so fast there.   I'm a little embarrassed to admit it but I've been suffering from a touch of diarrhoea lately.  And I believe this is precisely the type of bland, fibre-free 'vittles' that might put an end to my toilet torment.'

next time - we discover who 'pre-stole' the foodbank comestibles - and why.  

Processed Meat Slice of the Week - Corned Beef

This week's Processed Meat of the Week is The Co-operative Corned Beef (5 slice pack).

This is probably our fave meat, though normally, Geoffrey and I prefer the tinned version. However, we take our pleasures where we can and if that's all they've got it's all they've got. Plus, we got it cheap as it's reached its sell-by.

Corned Beef - or "korn bif" as we know it - is a versatile and tasty meat. We eat it cold on its own with some red sauce or "yellow sauce" (salad cream). The T-G tells us that Mrs T-G makes it into something called "korn bif Alaska", which consists of a slab/tin of korn bif, covered in red sauce then covered again in mashed potato and grated cheese, and baked in the oven. Naturally Geoffrey and I can't be bothered with all that faff.

Readers might recall that Cherry Fulmar often prepares something called "korn bif kebabs" when she's having a BBQ. These consist of chunks of korn bif, skewered on sticks alongside chunks of tinned pineapple, BBQd, and served with a "yellow sauce coulis". Again, Geoffrey and I can well live without the pineapple chunks ("froot" - yuck) but we'll eat anything if it's free.

The Fulmars haven't had a BBQ this year due to inclement weather, so fingers crossed they might be planning one soon.

Processed Meat Slice of the Week - Corned Beef

This week's Processed Meat of the Week is The Co-operative Corned Beef (5 slice pack).

This is probably our fave meat, though normally, Geoffrey and I prefer the tinned version. However, we take our pleasures where we can and if that's all they've got it's all they've got. Plus, we got it cheap as it's reached its sell-by.

Corned Beef - or "korn bif" as we know it - is a versatile and tasty meat. We eat it cold on its own with some red sauce or "yellow sauce" (salad cream). The T-G tells us that Mrs T-G makes it into something called "korn bif Alaska", which consists of a slab/tin of korn bif, covered in red sauce then covered again in mashed potato and grated cheese, and baked in the oven. Naturally Geoffrey and I can't be bothered with all that faff.

Readers might recall that Cherry Fulmar often prepares something called "korn bif kebabs" when she's having a BBQ. These consist of chunks of korn bif, skewered on sticks alongside chunks of tinned pineapple, BBQd, and served with a "yellow sauce coulis". Again, Geoffrey and I can well live without the pineapple chunks ("froot" - yuck) but we'll eat anything if it's free.

The Fulmars haven't had a BBQ this year due to inclement weather, so fingers crossed they might be planning one soon.