I haven't been outside for a couple of days, except to post a letter, as I've been feeling very ill with a fluey cold. After one day's respite the weather has continued to be awful again anyway - chilly, steady rain, low skies, interspersed with bouts of 'wind'. (Which reminds me - I need to summon up the strenf to rescue Tuppence from the ersatz sweat lodge sometime soon.)
Everything is muddy and wintry and Somme-like, still. Few signs of Spring - certainly nothing much to indicate that the world is coming alive again.
I've been feeling so feeble I've barely read a thing. However, I did finish one of my last charity shop buys - 'Hello', Leslie Phillips' autobiography, which I expected to find interesting. I always enjoy his films. However, the book doesn't go into nearly enough detail for my liking. About anything, really. Which is quite infuriating. I shouldn't complain though. I suppose he's had such a long career he would have needed to write several volumes in order to do it all justice, and I'm sure he probably couldn't be bothered. I get the feeling too that he's probably held back a lot in order to preserve other people's secrets and dignity - and possibly his own. There is a recent documentary about him on Youtube, I think, if you care to seek it out.
I still haven't finished my second charity shop buy - James Shapiro's '1599 - A Year in the Life of William Shakespeare'. I tend to read last thing at night, generally, and two or three lines of '1599' and I'm off to sleep. It's tremendously well-researched (
edifying springs to mind) but not sufficiently gripping to keep me awake at 1 a.m..
Which is all to the good as far as I'm concerned.
I listened to a programme about dark matter on Radio Four this morning. I think it was In Our Time with Melvyn Bragg. Apparently (and think I sort of knew this before I heard the programme) dark matter is what holds the universe together, only nobody knows what it is. They aren't even sure what it isn't. They only know that it's there because it affects other things. I got quite excited, listening, because that makes complete sense to me. Or at least it gives me the feeling that it would, if only I sat down and thought about it for a while. It could even explain human nature and the concept of Good and Evil. It's the concept of Shadow writ large. And it's not an abstract concept - it really does seem to be that way, in the nature of the energies of which we are a part. There is some kind of interactive dynamic, between dark and light, and the one, so it would appear, I think, really cannot exist without the other. Besides the obvious analogies there's a whole philosophical treatise to be written about that - to add to the hundreds if not thousands already in progress. Nobody can have completed one because nobody yet knows what the subject really is.
I find it tremendously exciting to learn more about the Universe as I hurtle grave-wards. Perhaps I am going to return to the place 'from whence I came', i.e. Somewhere Out There, and will be recycled as a dark matter 'atom' (not that anyone knows if there are such things in dark matter). Or perhaps I'll be a bubble in the Soup Dragon's cauldron.
I must read more about it.