Frog in the whole

Literally a toad in a hole

 'It's because it would be too sickly without it,' explained Dave.

'Yes but it seems so jarring,' said Tuppence.

'That's the whole point,' said Dave, patiently. 'You need the contrast. The flowing melodic bits and then the jarring bits.   The counterpoint if you like.  It's like happiness and sadness, the darkness and the light.  Sweet and sour or whatever.  You can't appreciate the one without the other.  You have to bear in mind, as well, Tuppence, that it was the 1960s and most of these people were out of their minds on a cocktail of drugs. They weren't rational.   That accounts for a lot.  Mind you, being rational isn't everything.  Far from it actually.  When I was in the sweat cottage I...'

Tuppence got up to his feet hurriedly.

'Well I think my tea's probably ready.  I'd better be off Dave, it's toad in the hole, my fave.  Thanks for the chat about Thunderclap Newman's greatest hit.'

Dave stroked his beard thoughtfully, leaned back in his rocking chair and closed his eyes.  'Let the...for argument's sake... toad...as it were...see the...hole?  But why a 'toad'?  Why limit yourself to one amphibian?  Is it in fact, as it were...a frog, or perhaps a newt, even a great crested one?  or another type of amphibian altogether?  But let us say, to prevent us totally busting our brains, 'frog'.  In the 'whole'?  But in the 'whole' what?  Or 'hole'?  But what type of 'hole'?  A black hole, perchance?  And why?  But we never ever do know why, do we.  That's one thing I know for certain. I'll need to give this some serious thought.'

Watching Toads is better than the Telly

Toad in the compost bin

All I watch on TV is Walker Texas Ranger relentlessly roundhouse-kicking the crap out of wrong-doers in a ginger wig and the bizarre cheese-fest which is the Six Million Dollar Man. If there's a Gerard Butler film on after that I count myself lucky.   Obviously I don't have a smart TV or Netflix - which is probably just as well for my health because if I did, I'd probably never get off the sofa again with the array of new films and fancy series available.  Whereas the old channels only have a desperate load of recycled rubbish I'd have to be heavily sedated to watch.

This is possibly another consequence of getting old.  You've already seen most of the garbage they churn out.  So, failing anything better being available such as a glossy series on Netflix, you might as well return to the 'source', i.e. the programmes previously mentioned.

I do keep an eye on what's on, ever hopeful, but generally there's nothing that appeals.   Obviously, news programmes are completely unwatchable now.  Which is an odd state of affairs.  

I probably wouldn't mind watching geriatrics' soothing favourite, the Antiques Roadshow, but the husband puts his foot down, and I give in because I'm not that bothered anyway.  I'd be keener on an Antiques Toadshow, presented by David Fattenborough,  an earnest, pastry-loving nature freak who when he isn't presenting programmes about ancient amphibians likes fattening up boroughs.  

A year or two back there were toads in our garden.  They lived in the compost bin and hibernated underneath it (see photo, of toad emerging from hibernation).  Now we have mainly frogs.  I really miss opening the compost bin and being confronted by a large toad (see photo).  They are extraordinary creatures, and far more interesting to watch than the telly.   

Toad, emerging from hibernation