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Sunday 21 February 2010

A pretty bad end to a night out

Well, I'm afraid I disgraced myself on Friday night and went a bit over the top at Stormy's usual lock-in. As a rule, as readers will know, Geoffrey and I go along together. But as Geoffrey is "away", I ventured along by myself. Oh dear. After a vat-load of the Purple Peril I became loud and over-familiar with other customers, not to mention sickening everyone with repeated renditions of The Raspberries "Overnite Sensation", and had to be forcibly "ejected".
I then ended up going "over the top" in a way that regular readers will know only too well. I took a massive header over the cliffs as I staggered blindly along the path homewards towards the Rocky Outcrop. I was knocked out cold, and when I came to my senses I realised to my horror that I was in a cave, with the contents of a bucket of icy water dripping down my face in a most unpleasant manner. Above me, a dentist's-style lamp shone relentlessly into my eyes, and I became aware that all four of my legs were strapped down to a hospital-style trolley.
As I squinted into the gloom, I discerned two white-coated figures stirring a cauldron of a noxious-smelling liquid.
"Ah! he's awake!" remarked the ghastly Wilson (who else?).
"How marvellous. Now we can get started on him," replied the other. Yes, it was his partner in criminal medicine, Dr Kwak.
"Aaaargh!" I spluttered, as Kwak aproached, holding a large wad of cottonwool and an enormous glass syringe.

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