Read the first ever Goon Show script last night. Now I know I said that I don't like the Goons, at all, but there ARE some funny lines in it.
For example.
"...worry turned me grey...which gave me a peculiar appearance as I was bald at the time..."
"I paid the fine with trembling fingers but...they wanted money!" (my favourite I think)
"...now tell me the first race you ever won? / The Old Crocks Race in 1892. /But that was before you were born! /Do you imagine it was easy for me?"
(to a car mechanic) "Have you put the bonnet on? / Yorst, and I don't arf look stupid in it."
"My name is Porridge, Sir Harold Porridge. For months my team had been digging for the lost tomb of the greatest of the Pharoahs, King Tutankhamen......For two years we dug every inch of ground - then finally we received a cable from the Egyptian government. It said simply - "Stop digging Hackney Marshes - try Egypt!"
All written by Spike Milligan.
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