"You've been looking at the news on the itternet again, haven't you. That's a rhetorical question by the way. I don't require an answer because your face tells me All I Need to Know."
"Ummmmmmmmm......."
"As I thought. Unplug that itternet thing and forget about it."
"But what about the rapists, and the child molesters, and the thieves, and the terrorists, and the holesale destruction of the planet?"
"That doesn't concern us. And it's "wholesale", not "holesale"."
"How did you know how I was spelling it? This is a real-life 3D conversation, not an online convo."
"Oh shut up with your online convos. That itternet thing has turned you imbecilic."
"I don't like the itternet anyway. I only end up getting upset. And don't you mean, "that itternet thing has turned you into an imbecile"?
"No. Now leave me alone. I need to concentrate on my new book, "One Hundred Ways to Polish a Turd (wot u never thought of B4)""
"Wow. That sounds fascinating. I'm sure there will be a huge market for it."
"No there won't. But I don't care. I refuse to pander to the popular whim."
"Will there be pictures?"
"Yes. No. What am I saying? Perhaps. Please make me a nice cup of tea."
