After we'd roped ourselves up, we hauled ourselves out of the tunnel and up the vertical cliff face, inch by painful inch, following a rough ladder of rusting iron nails driven deep into the rock by some long-dead smuggler, and into a tunnel further up, inch by even more painful inch. Once inside, the T-G took out his tinder box and lit a cheering fire and proceeded to boil some water in a tin can so that we could wash our blisters and have a hot toddy using 100% proof whiskey from his hip flask.
'Hot toddies and blister-washes all round!' he boomed, his voice echoing round the cave (all the Tunnels are really caves - a few are man-made extensions of caves, but none are what you might describe as 'wholly unnatural'. Just in case you were wondering. As readers from long ago will recall, I know a fair bit about the Tunnels, because Geoffrey and I basically existed for years on tins of korn bif, salty snax and other choice items stolen - not my idea of stealing, but never mind, I haven't time to argue - from smuggled goods stashed by gangs of rats in said Tunnels. But I digress.)
Once the three of us were settled by the fire the T-G helped us to another snifter from his hip flask and began his story. The leaping flames reflected off the metallic strips on our hi-viz yellow jackets, making quite the show.
'Never take them off!' he warned, when Geoffrey complained his was chafing. 'Never mind why. I'll explain later. Now about The News,' he began...
'T-G', I interrupted,' Sorry but before you start on about The News - what is that curious engraving on your hip flask? It reminds me of something. Something rather awful that I think I saw in a terrible nightmare...'
'It's the one-eyed Fiery Demon of Thoth, Tuppy. Considered in olden times to be a harbinger of certain, violent, imminent and agonising death, preceded by a spell of raving insanity. Mrs T-G gave it to me in my Yuletide stocking last...Yule. Lovely, isn't it? I do like the way the eye glints in the firelight. You'd almost think it was blinking, sort of coming to life. There is an old folk legend, probably nonsense of course, that maintains the Demon will one day be awakened in a cavern by a fire thrice lit. Whatever that might mean. If you're really interested, I have a book on Demonology back in Tupfinder Towers library, which has a chapter on the Demon of Thoth and its various possible incarnations. Anyway - back to The News...'
'Biscuit, anyone? I've just found a packet of ginger crunch creams under this rock,' said Geoffrey.
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