...a bright green...well, as you'll have guessed it was a bog actually, and I was in there for frigging ages. I know you're supposed to jump from clump to clump and avoid the bright green bits, but I slipped and next thing I knew I was up to my oxters in slime and in danger of being sucked under. The way I got out was none too pretty either but at any rate one has to be grateful for small mercies - it could have been worse.
What happened was this.
I got such a fright I was unable to call for help. My throat seized up completely and I began to panic. I knew that if I kicked and struggled I'd make it worse so I stayed still, shut my eyes tight and hoped for the best. It's a strategy that's got me through many a difficult situation.
Sure enough, next thing I knew I was rocketing through the air (again!) and then landed "crump!" (again!) - or should it be "ploof!" on to a fairly acceptably soft patch of turf.
Once I came to, I discovered that what had happened was this. Burnsey and Mr Spockfingers (I still am not clear if they are one and the same) also got lost in the mist and fell into the same bog as me. Suffering badly with wind (as usual) they passed a humungus anal emission which was especially pressing and potent due to shock and between the two of them the sheer power of it created an inverse whirlpool effect which in turn blasted me out of the bog and almost into orbit.
Of course I'm glad to be alive but really - talk about undignified.
I 've just peered over the rim of the crater that was left after the two "petomaines" let rip - what is the name of that place in Africa which is supposed to be the cradle of civilisation? anyway, it looks like that. Burnsey and Mr Spockfingers are grazing away peacefully like two wildebeeste as if nothing had happened.
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