The Rolling Stones - Jig-Saw Puzzle

Exile on Main Street/thoughts on the Rolling Stones

I've been listening to Exile on Main Street this afternoon. I used to love late sixties/early seventies Rolling Stones, but I went off them a bit once I got into Gram Parsons a couple of years back. It's well-known that Gram was very much involved with them, especially Keith, and there were some dark tales of drug use and so forth which were pretty depressing and distasteful. But I can't deny that they put out some terrific music at the time. Exile on Main Street, in my opinion, was the last great Stones album.

Reader kweschunnare no. seven

Here we have reader kweschunnare number seven - this one's from my good friend Axle (real name Aloysius St. John von ...well you know the rest). Because he's one of my closest friends I've allowed him the liberty of getting the kweschuns in the rong order, AND "going on at extreme length". Also, he was good enough to provide a number of his own good photographs of St Kilda which I've blogged a couple of times (click on "St Kilda link" under this post), and, I forgot his birthday this week.......deep shame. Axle also knows more about Coronation Street than anyone I've ever encountered. "Insanely comprehensive knowledge" and "obsessive fan" spring to mind. Pat Phoenix is his all-time favourite, I think.

Anyways, heeeeeeere we go again. As usual, all comments in italics are my own.

1. Fave time of day? No specific time but any day that ends in "off" or starts with "holi"! but I do love watching a beautiful sunset or rise.

2. Fave smell? Definitely NOT Pseudomonas Pyogenes! (yeah - I didn't ask what WASN'T - oh never mind!!) Hope I've remembered the term correctly!! when I was a student nurse (oh my god...) an old woman had a large gangrenous bedsore which was basically a hole, which had become infected by the aforementioned. The smell is something I'll never forget! absolutely horrendous! (thanks for sharing Axle) Smells that I really like are tobacco and pipes, coffee (even though I have never smoked and rarely drink coffee), bread in the oven, autumn bonfires, and not sure if I love the smell but "have to" smell the pages of new magazines and books (not every single one of them!!!) The smell of Shield soap and another one with an appley fragrance - can't remember what it was called or if they are still manufactured remind me of when I stayed in a nurses' home in the summer of 1980.

3. Fave film and or film star. I don't actually watch a lot of films but pretty much enjoy anything with Bette Davis or Katharine Hepburn in. Others are Schindler's List, Sound of Music, Shawshank Redemption, Shirley Valentine and The Deerhunter. Also love the British kitchen sink dramas of the 1960s, such as the likes of A Taste of Honey, Saturday Night Sunday Morning, A Kind of Loving, Spring and Port Wine etc.. Very much like films about historical events, especially within last 150 years. Having said that, I'm not a fan of most WW2 films or Westerns.

4. Fave footwear IN LESS THAN TEN WORDS. Not sure about this one; I mostly wear trainers and have a pair of walking boots (16 words so far...) that I really like. When I was about thirteen, I had a pair of platform boots that I thought were "great" - black "wetlook" with purple "platforms - it was the seventies and purple and plum seemed to be very much "in"! Totally forgot this was supposed to be under ten words!! (....................)

5. Fave music? I have a very wide taste in music - it depends on the mood. Not a huge modern jazz, heavy metal or reggae fan, although I like a lot of the classics of these styles. Some acts/singers I really like: Abba, Annie Lennox, Aretha Franklin, Adele, Alicia Keys, Andy Williams, Anita Baker, Antony and the Johnsons - so anything beginning with "A" then!! Will that include AEM (sorry - REM??!!!) I like a lot of songs purely for nostalgic reasons even if not particularly great songs, or they might just be good to dance to (very fond of disco) and I have to add that I'm PROUD to admit no DECLARE my love for Eurovision!!

6. Fave food? Some (Kate!!) might expect this to be fishfingers as this is the highest extent of my culinary skills, but I do love a good meal even if it sadly has to be cooked by someone else. On the menu at my work I think my favourite is Chicken Chasseur. I love a roast dinner and puddings such as rice, semolina, tapioca and custard (I never knew this??? I feel a bit sick...) Really like fish or chicken and chips. Also really like parsnips and Pink Lady Apples.

7. Fave book/writer I don't read much fiction or have a favourite author but I enjoy biographies and books on social history. As a child I loved Enid Blyton, especially one called Shadow the Sheepdog.

8. Have all of the above ever converged? Doubt it but probably a lovely thought till the briefest waft of Psuedomonas ruins everything!

9. What kweschun would you like to ask yourself? Why have I forgone Question Time to do this, and why do I keep in such close and regular contact with Kate?

10. Bowels in, or bowels out? Not partial to a prolapse thank you very much! though "contents" always "out"!!

Phew!! thanks Axle - very enlightening. I knew most of that lot, but not all. Thanks very much for doing it - and for being a really great friend over thirty years - and so sorry for forgetting your birthday. I must be losing the plot. My own answers will appear over the weekend sometime.

Reader Kweschunnare

Axle Snailbotom, as I explained earlier, is terribly slow. So instead we have Maz, who is a shopkeeper from the West Midlands. I knew that she would provide some interesting answers and I wasn't disappointed.

Kweschun one. What is your fave smell? The smell of the ground after rain has fallen wants me to get on all fours and lick it - sorry if you're underage and reading this but you gotta learn some day!

Kweschun two. What is your fave music? Anything I can sing to...if it's too hard to learn it's normally rubbish anyway.

Kweschun three. What is your fave film and or film star? PS I Love You Gerrard Butler. That man wants ME! It's sad, soppy and definitely crap but I like it purely because it's shit! Can I just add that Mr Bean is an idiot so I like him too.

Kweshchun four. Describe your fave item of footwear in less than ten words. I have no shoes - I'm Indian!

Kweschun five. What is your fave time of day? I have a crush on a certain somebody who buys a morning paper - when he/she/him/her/they/all/everyone come in at 7am I go all weird and pathetic but I look forward to 7am when I'm guaranteed to have some kind of weird fungus growing on my nose or in it growing out

Kweschun six. What is your fave food? Burger and chips...I don't know why I'm fat...it's a bitter world this is

Kweschun seven. Have all of the above ever converged? I'm sure I dreamt once that I was eating burger and chips off Gerrard Butler's face on all fours at 7am with.. no stop I can't go on!!

Kweschun eight. What kweschun would you like to ask yourself? Do you enjoy behaving like you're at the end of your life? (loads of swear words in the middle)

Kweschun ten. Bowels in, or bowels out? Oh I don't know -is this a trick question? So that's Maz from the West Midlands - thanks Maz! cracking answers - thanks very much for your time.

Biscuit of the week - the Toffee Dodger

I can't recommend this biscuit highly enough.

I bought it as it was on special in the Co-op - sorry, I can't remember exactly how much they were, but they won't have been dear as I don't care for the Jammie Dodger, and only cheapness would have lured me into buying anything similar.

The problem with Jammie Dodgers is that the jam is just too hard. They're far too chewy. The Toffee Dodger on the other hand is like a round Twix without the chocolate, except the biscuit has a nicer texture. Some might see no chocolate as being a drawback - I don't. Sometimes you just don't want a chocolate biscuit - it's too much for you. You just want a bit of sweetness that isn't too cloying.

There's also a heart-shaped hole in the centre, where you can see the toffee. What more could you want from a biscuit?

Kind review in Northwords Now

"Kate Smart's blog could never be described as 'run of the mill'." Nobody could have given me a nicer compliment. "Kate clearly demonstrates how blogging can be used to great effect." Bask!

Many thanks to Tony Ross for this really kind review in the current edition of Northwords Now.
I'm absolutely delighted to have been given a mention, never mind anything else.

Tony's clearly read the blog, and "gets it" - which is brilliant. Yes, most of it could be described as "flash fiction", but I haven't thought of it that way myself. I'm just pleased that posts such as "Desperate Dan's Testicles" , the "Heartache Removal Service" - which is an on-going concern by the way - and the "Mind Muck Removal Device" have been read and appreciated.

To find out more - just click on the links below this post - or, find 'em on the list of links down the right hand side of the page.

This is encouraging me to put more of my work out there - somewhere...I'm rubbish at sending stuff away. Anyone thinks I can write anything specific for them and wants me to do it - give me a shout. (lazy...)

I'm well aware that this blog isn't everyone's cup of tea - or bottle of gin, even. So, I'll say, once again, how much I appreciate the readers who have kept me going with this over the past three years. Without your generous support, I would not have continued.

Edgar Winter Group - Frankenstein

I must admit I've not watched this all the way through (heard one minute of this, you've heard it all basically - and be warned - there IS a drum solo), but I couldn't resist posting it as it is a classic of its kind.
The blurb underneath sez it all - feel Rock's majesty.
Good grief.
This is the kind of thing that gave me a terrible pre-hangover headache in the 1970s - can feel one coming on now actually...and check out the clothes! blimey...

Malcolm Tucker - A Tribute to Brilliant Swearing

This one's got "fuckitty bye" and "leaky fucking mingebox" on it....oh! don't watch if you're offended by foul language...
The thing that makes Malcolm Tucker so funny, rather than boringly offensive, is the build up and the context - you don't get build up or much context here - but anyone who's watched In the Loop or The Thick of It will know anyway.
Peter Capaldi - I love him but where does he find all that rage? and how the FUCK does he manage to keep a straight fuckin' face by the way?

Scots wurd o' th' day

Back to Alexander Warrack's Chambers's Scots Dictionary again.

Amazing book - or "tome". Today, it's fallen open at page 252, where there are any number of words worth a ponder, and most of which I've never heard before in my life. Think I'll choose -

Haukum-plaukum (adj.) - every way equal. Not quite sure how you'd use that one. Would it be as in, he's haukum plaukum to the task, or maybe the twins' mince 'n' tatties were haukum plaukum? If anyone knows, please tell me.

Another one. Hauselock, Hausslock, n., The wool on a sheep's neck. That's easy. Thon sheep should be ashamed o' itsel' - its hauselock's desperate oan a trim.

I'm now getting curious about the roots of words. The dictionary has a pretty good introduction - which I'm only now glancing through. First thing which catches the eye is "Up until the beginning of the sixteenth century, the Scots called their language 'Inglis', which is the northern form of the primitive 'Angelisc'." And "Gawin Douglas (c. 1475 - 1522) is the first writer of any importance to use 'Scottis' as a term for his 'tongue materne'." (tongue materne! get him!)

H'anyway......one must get on.

More later.............

Spike Milligan lines

Read the first ever Goon Show script last night. Now I know I said that I don't like the Goons, at all, but there ARE some funny lines in it.

For example.

"...worry turned me grey...which gave me a peculiar appearance as I was bald at the time..."

"I paid the fine with trembling fingers but...they wanted money!" (my favourite I think)

"...now tell me the first race you ever won? / The Old Crocks Race in 1892. /But that was before you were born! /Do you imagine it was easy for me?"

(to a car mechanic) "Have you put the bonnet on? / Yorst, and I don't arf look stupid in it."

"My name is Porridge, Sir Harold Porridge. For months my team had been digging for the lost tomb of the greatest of the Pharoahs, King Tutankhamen......For two years we dug every inch of ground - then finally we received a cable from the Egyptian government. It said simply - "Stop digging Hackney Marshes - try Egypt!"

All written by Spike Milligan.

Leonard Nimoy - Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town

Just jaw-droppingly unexpected...

Spike Milligan

Still browsing through The Essential Spike Milligan, compiled by Alexander Games (4th estate). Mixed feelings about Spike. For me, 25% of the time (maybe more...) he was prolonged-belly-laugh funny. The rest of the time - well.
Was eager to see the TV programme last night called "I told you I was ill" recorded in 2002, I think. Tributes are usually not my cup of tea, and this one was particulary awful - so bad I switched it off.
I don't really like the Goons - possibly put off by that awful footage of Prince "grovelling bastard (according to Spike)" Charles doing his cringey Bluebottle voice.
There are also large swathes of material in the book which to me seem incredibly racist. You're not supposed to say that about Spike Milligan, but there it is.
It's not Spike's fault Prince Charles was a fan. But still.
There are however several pieces in the book which are just stand-back-in-awe brilliant - The Flasher (II) being one, and The Singing Foot being another.
He also writes brilliantly about the war, about life around and after the war, and about his mental breakdown.
He writes with an uncomfortable honesty and a humour born of despair, which is often too raw to laugh at. I can't simply dismiss him as racist. I need to find a context - an excuse maybe...if there can be an excuse...
The thing that gets me, is when he writes about being battle-fatigued "...this was a time in my life when I was very demoralised. I was not really me any more."

more later

Tuppence eats kippers and reads Foucault

"Uncle Tuppy uncle Tuppy!"

"WHAT???"  I tried and failed to rip open a boil-in-the-bag kipper without burning my fingers and sploshing kipper juice all down myself.

"What paths have brought us to the point where we are "at fault" with respect to our own sex? And how have we come to be a civilisation so peculiar as to tell itself that, through an abuse of power which has not ended, it has long sinned against sex?"

"I'm sure I don't know Tuppence. I'll put the kettle on and have a wee think about that for a minute." Hell's teeth, I thought. If this is what teaching someone to read aged thirty five does you can keep it. I'd assumed he'd stick to Swallows and Amazons till he was at least forty.

"This is brilliant uncle Tuppy! I'm expanding my brain by eating kippers and reading Foucault's "The History of Sexuality" and you know what the best part is?"

"No..."

"I'm only half way through volume one! there's another two to go!"

CS Lewis

Nobody can say I'm not eclectic.

"You're not eclectic"

"Oh shut up..."


Interesting article by CS Lewis here - mean to read it more carefully over the weekend and will comment also. Thanks to Christine for sending it.

Howl - on the road in a bath chair, sticking it to the death drive

More thoughts on the film 'Howl', which I saw yesterday.

Like most people I read the beat poets, William Burroughs and so forth when I was young. Along with Sartre and other stuff I didn't understand.

I think what mattered to me then was authenticity - it matters now too, only as I age I understand a lot more about the compromises that everyone makes.

Ginsberg talks about "the fear trap". Of being afraid of being alone and old and vulnerable.

That's realistic. And as you get older, it stares you in the face.

I sometimes say I want to live in a cave but I don't mean it. A metaphorical cave, at best - and even then I don't mean it.

I'd rather be warm, fed, and comfortable.

When you're young you can take lots of chances - any chances I took, I don't regret, even if things went pear-shaped and worse. It's good to live - and to really live. But as you get older - well. Even more so if you have children.

It might not be on to get out there on the road once you're knocking on a bit, but you can still aim for a type of authenticity. In fact, peace and quiet are conducive to lengthy spells of reflection. Perhaps being on the road is another form of self-avoidance. It's a way of sticking two fingers up at the death drive I suppose.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's a good thing if that's what you're drawn to do. Or even if it's what you drift into without thinking about it. It's a collection of experiences. I loved it when I was young, and I'm sure I would again, only I'm not in a position to do that...hmmm....

Someone gave me a good quote some years ago when I was contemplating travel. It was from the dhammapada - I must try to find it. Something along the lines of - there is no need to travel, as everything is contained in this fathoms long body of ours. But expressed much more succinctly and beautifully, of course.

Anyway - the beat poets and Ginsberg. I have a lot of time for them because they were attempting to express what it is to be alive, in the moment, without being constrained by ideas of form and convention. I don't especially enjoy reading them, but I'm very glad they got published and that their stuff is "out there" and available.

I found the film interesting mainly, personally, because of Ginsberg's ideas about writing and self expression. Easy to sneer - I don't want to.

It seemed almost like two separate films - one, about Ginsberg's ideas, which are in themselves worth a film of their own, and the second, about the obscenity trial and issues of freedom of speech. Both are inter-linked, obviously - but the film couldn't quite do justice to both.

Liked it though - thought-provoking, and far better than much of the dreck that's about.