Friday, 23 November 2012

"Tuppy?"
"WHAT????" I bellowed, hands on hips. "HONestly Geoffrey. Can't you shut up for five minutes?  Or is it Too Much to Ask?"  I whined the last bit in the whiniest voice I could manage.
"Bit tetchy aren't you?"
the moon by sea penguin
"Sorry Geoffrey. But wouldn't you be tetchy if you'd been stuck up Kevin Bacon's nose for thirty three years (see previous posts)?"
"I HAVE been stuck up his nose for thirty three years.  I've been right here next to you."
Geoffrey's my best friend in all the world, but sometimes he can be a right pain in the -
"ATISHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And we were out. Free at last!
The blast of Kevin's sneeze was so powerful that we found ourselves launched into space.  For a few blissful light years we flew through the stars, blinded by tears of wonder and relief, hand in hand, or rather,  hoof in webbed foot. 
"Geoffrey! Look!  It's all so - so - marvellous...."
However, it didn't last.  The G force wrenched off my fleece and before I could say "footloose and fancy free" I found myself naked and shivering and alone.......on the Moon.......
But was I on the dark side, or the bright side, and where on earth is Geoffrey?

Saturday, 17 November 2012

I'm having a bit of a think about what to do with the blog (this one).  I want to keep the focus on the Rocky Outcrop characters for now, and the e-books that feature them.   So, I've archived recent posts.  But I also like to have somewhere to ramble on, about various things such as what books I'm reading.  I'm unsure if I should do that here (she rambles) or just keep it Rocky Outcrop specific.
I'm also on the verge of starting another Rocky Outcrop Tale, featuring Tuppy, Geoffrey, Tuppence, the Tupfinder General et al, with more illustrations by Barry, but I haven't yet decided whether or not to blog it.
Hmm...

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

The Old Asylum, part something or other. Bein' Deid's Barry Fun...

"Bein' deid's barry fun then, is it?" asked Stinkin' Maggie.
"Nobody has used that word since 1982," sneered corpse one.
"Weel it's rare fun then. Wicked fun, yeah?" she offered hopefully.
The three corpses rolled their dead eyes, which then fell out of their respective sockets and landed on the smoking ruins of the old asylum with a horrid splatting kind of noise.
Then they opened their cavernous mouths and let out a ghastly RAOAOAOAOAOAOAOARR!!!!!  The accompanying foul blast of breath was so powerful that it lifted Stinkin' Maggie into the air, and transported her back to the Black Hut, where Granny Mack waited patiently with a loaded shotgun, filling her time by biting the heads off kittens and spitting then into a pot for soup, while thinking up her latest homily with which to slowly but relentlessly bore her victims to death.
"Keep calm and...no, done that. If life gives you lemons...nope, done that too. If your glass looks half empty, cheer the fork up and pour yourself another...hmmmm...not quite there....It takes ninety five muscles to smile, and only one to frown...hmmm..noooo.....it's not what happens to you in life, it's how you deal with it....no, even I don't believe that...."
"STO-O-O-OP!!" shrieked Stinkin' Maggie, "I can't take any more positivity! Take me back to the dark lands where the spirits go...."
"All in good time, O Stinkin' One...now where was I? Oh yes. If you're down in the dumps, bake a cake! even better - a few hedgehogs.  Erm... what else? Have some Me-time...yes."
"SHUT UP!"
"Hark at you! Nobody's asking you to listen."
"Could you just help me get my leg out of the chimney stack then, and I'll be on my way?  thank you."

more later

 

Sunday, 21 October 2012

Friday, 12 October 2012

blaven isle of skye by sea penguin

dead tree st bride's church by sea penguin
 
Blaven sky-line, and a dead tree growing on St Bride's church wall, Isle of Skye.

Saturday, 29 September 2012

#Sod the lot of U,
I'm avvin a fag
Sod the lot of U
I'm avvin a drag#

(repeat ad nauseam)

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Five star review on Amazon

detail from sea penguin painting by barry nicol all rights reserved
A five star review has just appeared on Amazon.com for the first of my series of four e-books. 
"...you can even smell salt of the Sea of the Hebrides..."

(No, it's not been written by a friend or anyone I've asked!  I should get on that actually....)
Here's the link.

A previous review in Scottish literary magazine Northwords Now (in Spring 2011) said the tales (which hadn't yet at that time been published as e-books) were " a fun and sometimes spooky read". 

Please be aware that you don't need a Kindle or an e-reader to read these.  When you order one you can download a FREE app. to your PC, phone, whatever that enables you to read.
That's what I did anyway, as I don't possess an e-reader.  Only problem I've had with it is, I had to re-install it twice, but it was very easy.