"I'm blogging. "
"Well would you mind doing it in the privacy of the latrine, or somewhere? That tippy-tappy noise is spoiling my enjoyment of my fourth bacon and red sauce sandwich. What's blogging, anyway?"
"Blogging is writing a whole load of crap about things nobody cares about, and then blasting it round the internet. Or attempting to. I've got a computer now, see? I'm on the itternet."
"What's the itternet? Don't you mean INTERnet? Surely."
"No I don't. I mean ITTERnet. Leave me alone."
I peered over his shoulder. "WHY I AHTE.....you've spelled HATE wrong. And what do you hate, anyway? You're a very mild-mannered type as a rule."
"Stop it! Go AWAY Tuppy. I hate everything! I'm an itternet hater! I'm a troll!"
"You're not. You've turned bright red. You're getting hot and bothered. You're embarrassed because you're writing a lot of rubbish that any right-thinking person should be thoroughly ashamed of."
"Oh all right. I admit it. I was feeling neglected because you were spending too much time discussing that book about growths and boils with the new librarian from the mobile library and I needed some attention. You're right. I don't hate anyone."
"Except yourself. Come on - say it after me. I don't hate anyone - "
"I don't hate anyone except myself. There."
"Thank you. Now I can get on with reading more about growths and boils. In peace."