Haggis Bonbons

The coracle (kindly designed by BW Nicol)

'Alexa's been spending a lot of time over at Tupfinder Towers lately,' said Geoffrey as he fried up our Sunday breakfast of sausages, black pudding, bacon, eggs, kidneys and festive haggis 'bon bons'.  The bonbons were bought off the  reduced shelf at Speedispend hypermarket and compulsory screening centre when we made a fleeting and probably ill-advised visit recently. As readers will know, we dislike Speedispend, but on this occasion we were desperate, because the Tunnels are currently empty, due to the foodbank comestibles having been moved to a 'safer location'  (I can't imagine why they would feel the need to do that...).  So, we got out the coracle and made the voyage over.   

'Yes, and so has Tuppence.  He's been upset about his band.  They want to play decent gigs but all they can get are care homes and kiddie's birthday parties.  That's why he's been drinking so much.  He's depressed and humiliated and he's worried it's affecting his actual brain chemistry on a permanent basis. And no wonder.  He wants to play Madison Square Garden but he's got Bide a Wee care facility instead.'

'It's a shame that Stormy won't allow him back into the Puff Inn.  Those Friday night gigs were great.  A few purple perils and Tuppence's rendition of Egg's 'A Visit to Newport Hospital'.  Them were the days.'

'Yes.  Indeed they were Geoffrey.  But you can appreciated his position given that tine that Tuppence overloaded the electrics with his Moog and burned the place to the ground.  The rats were problematic as well, to be fair.'

'Well if you will have rats rather than actual bandmates.  You need to use a long spoon if you sup with the devil, and Tuppence clearly did not.  By the way did you really say 'problematic'?'

'I think your bonbons are burning Geoffrey.  I told you to put them in the pan last, they're much smaller than the other stuff and TAKE THEM OUT NOW YOU'RE RUINING THEM.'

Next time - Tuppence is convinced he can smell an old person before he sees them and wonders if he can monetise this startling new ability.  Alexa continues to seek help from the star as she struggles with her existential and moral dilemmas